I feel like I need to dig a hole and bury myself in it! I never wanted to go through another divorce again. I never expected to go through another divorce again. He was suppose to be my knight in shining armor. He saved me during a bad place in my life and I thought that it would always be that way. I was wrong. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do with myself. How am I suppose to go to work and carry on like this devastating thing hasn't happened. Yes I am the one who told him to leave. Yes I have proof of why he needed too. But I feel so empty. I have this big whole in me now.
The part that bothers me the most is that I told myself I WOULD NEVER get married again. But I caved. I loved him so much, I thought nothing would ever go wrong. And here I sit...again...by myself. Wondering what I did wrong? What didn't I do? How can I do this by myself? What will I tell my 3 kids happened to their step dad who they admired so much? I'm at a loss. I just want to go to bed and stay there forever. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I have to be strong for my kids. I know that. But I'm tired of having to be so strong. I'm sick of being hurt. Maybe everyone is right... maybe I am better off alone.
